he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
