Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
