dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
