he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
