I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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