He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
