I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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