GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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