I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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