Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I deserve this hangover.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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