I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
