i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
