I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
