R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
