I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
