Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
