I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
