They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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