my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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