Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
