Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
