last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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