i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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