So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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