The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
