She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
sarcasm needs its own font
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
