If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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