oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
