I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
wow bdsm is so cute
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
