you traded sex for a burrito?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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