Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
