shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
