Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Can you bring me the toilet please
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
