Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
