Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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