But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
