My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
