Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
