When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
