i don't plan on having that self control this summer
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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