I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
