she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
