You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
