is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
