I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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