Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
