Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
