i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
my shit smells like andre
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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