Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
