If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
