When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
