SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
