Can Purell be used as lube?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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